User blog:NexoByte/Grundal's Night Before Christmas
Hark, my readers, And I shall tell Of the night before Christmas Without any fail. `Tis a story 'bout Amset, Hotep, and fate And who better than Grundal This story relate! Our story takes place The Fighting Pyramid within So without further ado Let us begin. ---- `Twas the night before Christmas And all through the pyramid Not a creature was stirring Not even a... Fearamid...? Amset-Ra: Good! Now that Grundal froze everyone in time everyone's asleep, I can pig out on Santa's milk and cookies! Not that he'll be eating them anyway. Better avoid the carrots - I'm not a vegetarian. I said, "Not a creature was stirring." Amset-Ra: Eek! Amset-Ra attempts to stand perfectly still. Now, you probably wonder how I am speaking without using Christmas carols. Well, I must speak in italics when doing so, and I get worn out rather quickly. Like... so... Let's... move on... Ogel was locked away As good as dead While visions of violent LEGO battles Danced in his head. Amset-Ra: Now come on, Grundal! You know I'm not that cruel. Cruel enough to try to take over the world. Amset-Ra: Argh, you got me there... Yes, I admit, I've been trying to take over the world via social media. Let's just continue. My dad in his corona And I in my crown Had just settled down For a long winter's drown. Amset-Ra: Ahh, I just LOVE to go drown over at Jokerland's Toxic Tank. Though I hate getting my bindings wet, I might as well put on a suit first- waitaminute! Why am I wearing a crown while my dad has a corona! I can corona way better than he can! Anyway, it's time for my drown! When outside the Toxic Tank There rose such a clatter I turned off the faucet To see what was the matter. Away to the door I flew like Commander Flash I ripped off the curtain And doled out the cash. Amset-Ra turns off the slime. Amset-Ra: Listen, Joker, I'm sorry about the curtain. Here's the money to pay for it. Joker: YES! YES!!!! Now I can get the Batman repellant I always wanted! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Amset-Ra: At least that money went to a good cause. Amset-Ra opens the door. Pharaoh Hotep: Stop wasting so much hot toxic water! You know I need to look my best for Christmas tomorrow. Amset-Ra:'''Actually, it's Christmas morning. '''Pharaoh Hotep: D'oh! Amset-Ra: Santa's coming! Quick! Back to the pyramid! The moon on the breast Of the boisterous sands Gave the luster of magic On the speedy clans. Amset-Ra: I'm not a clan! I'm an army! Pharaoh Hotep: Well, I'm a clan! Amset-Ra: Why are we arguing for no reason? Pharaoh Hotep: This is a random Christmas comedy, remember? When what to my wondering Eyes should appear But a miniature sleigh And eight tiny... Spaceship spaceship SPACESHIIIIIIPS!!!!!!! Santa: I'm on a budget! I couldn't afford reindeer. Too wild. And who on Mars gave me a microscale sleigh?! Amset-Ra: It's Hypergirl. Run. And. Hide. With an alien driver So crazy and mean I knew in a moment It must be the Queen. Amset-Ra and Pharaoh Hotep dash into the pyramid. More rapid than Sonic Her Aliens they came And she whistled and shouted And called them by name: Sonic: More rapid than me, eh? Amset-Ra: What are you doing in this wacky Christmas story? Sonic: I have the right to be in any story I want. Besides, I'm a LEGO Minifigure now. Pharaoh Hotep: Ssh! She's about to speak! "Now Alice! Now Ali! Now Aloha and Hovok! On Alfred! On Alec! On Albert and Hyvak!"'' '''Alien Queen: And you too, Rudolph equivalent. Havek: I can't see a thing with this giant red glowing nose on the front of my ship! Alien Queen: Too bad. "To the top of the pyramid! To the top of the wall! Now eliminate my enemies And dash away all!" Amset-Ra:' Oh no. That doesn't sound good. Pharaoh Hotep: Let's get out of here. Alien Queen: Too late, you fools. As foolish adventurers that before The wild Tygurah fly, When they meet with trouble, They then talk with Kai. I'm terrible at this. So up to the pyramid-top The Aliens they flew, With the spaceships full of munitions, and Hypogirtis too. Amset-Ra: Oh no. She's breaking in. Pharaoh Hotep: Let's get out of here. Amset-Ra: You already said that. And then in a moment I heard on the roof The prancing and scurrying Of the Aliens aloof. Amset-Ra: We may still have time to get ready for a fight. Everyone grab your Space Police freeze rays. Pharaoh Hotep: Everyone? But there are only two of- As I loaded my gun And was turning around, Down the chimney Hypogirtis Came with a bound. Alien Queen: Too late. Amset-Ra: Since when did I have a chimney? And narrator, it's rude to interrupt your subjects. Alien Queen: Now you'll pay for repeatedly stealing my ships. She was dressed like a spaceman From her head to her claw foot, And her armor was all tarnished With ashes and soot. A bundle of thermal detonators She had flung on my back And she looked like a peddler Just opening her pack. Alien Queen: Here, hold these. I need to get my other weapons. Amset-Ra: This is awkward… Her eyes how they glowed! Her dimples how nonexistent! Her cheeks were like, I don't know Her nose oh so nonexistent! Her droll little mouth was drawn Badly And the beard of her chin-'' ''Excuse me? Hey, it sorta rhymes. Alien Queen: Now I can test my new super weapon thingy! Zark! The barrel of her blaster She held tight in her fist And the smoke it encircled Her rage when she missed. Alien Queen: D’oh I missed! She had an angry face And a less angry belly, But then Santa came And the room felt like jelly! Amset-Ra: Do you like, believe in Santa? Alien Queen: No. Why? Amset-Ra: He’s right behind you. She turns around. Santa: Ho ho ho! Alien Queen: Gasp! IbelievedinyouallalongSantapleasedon'tkillme! He was chubby and plump A right jolly old elf, And I smiled when I saw He had rescued myself! A wink of his eye And a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. Amset-Ra: Phew! He holsters his freeze ray. Amset-Ra: Thanks for rescuing me, Santa! She's almost as bad as Frenzy! He spoke not a word, But went straight to his work, And kidnapped Hypogirtis And called her a jerk. Oh, and he also gave the Pyramid Staff their presents. And laying his finger Aside of his nose And giving a nod Up the chimney they rose! Amset-Ra: Well, I hope I won't see her for a long time... He sprang to his sleigh To his team gave a whistle And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle. Amset-Ra: There he goes... and he's towing the Queen's sleigh with him! By the way, where's Dad and Sonic? He sees Pharaoh Hotep with his arms full of presents, and Sonic racing against Santa. Of course Santa is faster. Amset-Ra: Holy corona! How'd you manage to get so many presents? Pharaoh Hotep: Donating your income to Santas Anonymous really paid off. Amset-Ra: D'oh! But I heard him exclaim As he drove out of sight "Merry Christmas to all And to all a Good Night!" Category:Blog posts